So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
did i just pee glitter
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