All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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