Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
