therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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