could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.