Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.