So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.