Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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