Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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