Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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