The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
