can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
a search helicopter?!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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