That's intense
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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