i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just invented taco cereal.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
