how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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