You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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