I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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