I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
