dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
