We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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