I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
