Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
