therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
