lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
