Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
