I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
