So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i dont even know how to be here
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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