she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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