is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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