I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
