Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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