you would pick up someone in the library
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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