You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
