the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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