i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
