Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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