no, he came in my armpit
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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