She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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