planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
