put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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