So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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