Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
