I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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