my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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