drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
