it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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