the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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