I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
