nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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