Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize