I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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