We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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