bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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