I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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