did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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