The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
