are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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