I want to have your abortion
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
