We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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