If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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