what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
