so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's never too late to be topless.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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