Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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