I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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