"it" just moved
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
