this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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